Updated: Jun 30
The Love Givers (Parents)
Parents are supposed to be the love givers. We should have the ability to love our kids and not expect them to love us, always standing as a strong, immovable wall of love that can withstand tantrums, emotional outbursts, or any cruel treatment from our children. Even in the face of hatred from teenagers going through their years of fluctuating hormones and mood swings, we should be able to stand with absolute calmness, objectivity, and real love! If you, as a parent, can find the power of this parent skill then you have mastered real parenting at its finest.
The Love Takers (Kids)
If the parent becomes the love giver, it will allow the child to become the love taker. When a child is born, a parent is born: the old self will disappear and a new person appears as a parent! A child is supposed to stress, test, and absolutely bring a new parent to their knees! The child becomes the parent’s teacher! If a parent feels hurt, rejected, or begins to feel that this job is too big for them then they don’t understand what true love is.
It is a parent’s responsibility to keep their child free-spirited, stimulated, fed, clothed, corrected, inspired, directed, and, above all, to not allow the child to feel responsible for the parent’s feelings. Feelings have no place in parenting because they will only teach the child to repress their feelings and thoughts and create a kind of trauma that will live in them forever. The child will begin to rebel and hate the parent as he begins to feel the burden of keeping the parent happy. Soon he will become depressed and withdrawn and will look for some sort of distraction or addiction whether it be food, video games, television, or anything else that is available. The child is now full of resentment with his new burden.
Leave your kids alone to find out who they are. Be that stealth observer and let them feel freedom in a proper way. While your kids are young, you have to find that balance between protection and control and freedom. If your balance as a parent is off or tilted, your child will also be off balance. You as a parent have to get over yourself! Each day is different and you will have to learn to be a better parent on a daily basis. Don’t be so arrogant that you think you have it figured out, because everything will change! We have to self-adjust moment to moment as a parent, and we never know what the next moment will bring!